As we enter the second month of California’s shelter in place order, I’m not alone in having a hard time picturing what’s next. Beneath the headlines, people are grappling with real questions. The federal government has promised economic stimulus, but that money might as well be on the moon for students like myself trying to figure out how to pay rent, pay for food and pay for the increasingly elusive commodity we call toilet paper.
As a nursing student, I was scheduled to take my licensing exam on May 1st. As that date nears, California’s shelter in place orders are still in effect. To try and cut some of the red tape, Governor Gavin Newsom formed Health Corps, a state program that will temporarily waive licensing restrictions for new nurses. This opens a path to work for me and thousands of other nursing students with undetermined testing dates. It will also provide hospitals with thousands of desperately needed health care professionals.
It’s a promising proposal, but it leaves me with a lot of questions. After two years of prerequisites and a year and a half of an accelerated nursing program, am I really ready to work? Our program is designed for those who already hold undergrad degrees in other fields. None of us have ever been nurses. We spent the first year preparing for licensure by working alongside nurses in the hospital while taking classes. After licensure, we are supposed to have two more years of graduate work before we receive our MS degrees as family nurse practitioners. At our university, I’m contractually obligated to stay in my program until I finish my masters, but COVID -19 is blasting an epidemic-sized hole in everyone’s plans.
Another question: If I do start working, what will happen to my loans? I was pretty frustrated to hear there will be no break from the daily compounding interest currently accruing on my loans currently in deferment while I’m in school. With millions of students forced to leave school campuses around the nation, a growing number are asking for a break or at least a reduction from tuition fees. I’m nearly $140k in debt, which makes signing up for Health Corps even more appealing. I want to help people during this crisis, but will I be allowed to? Will my graduate university let me concurrently enroll or take a break from graduate study in the wake of COVID-19? What will school be like if California’s stay in place last until June or September? If I decide to stay in school and all courses are online – will the school agree to decrease its fee structure to accommodate this drastic shift? So far, nobody has been able to answer these questions.
I’m also curious whether the increasing need for health care professionals will eventually force all nursing students into work. If so, will there be enough protective equipment available to keep us all safe? If there isn’t enough protective gear, will I be forced to sign a hospital gag order as a condition of my employment, or could I be fired for speaking out? I don’t know.
Being a graduate nursing student is a culmination of my strongest skills. I learned how to watch nonverbal cues and listen from my time as a media journalist. Reading a room and knowing when and how to ask patients questions makes the difference between a truthful answer and a lie. I learned research skills and repetitive focus from working in genetics and cancer research labs. And I learned compassion from working in education and having my own child.
People become nurses for different reasons. For some it’s a calling, like being a nun. For most, it’s because they want to be of service. For others, it’s stable employment in a skilled profession. My aspiration to become a Nurse Practitioner is both pragmatic and visionary. My mother and grandmother both died from diabetic complications. I saw them struggle to be heard by medical physicians and staff in their final days and I thought hard about the changes I want for women of color in health care. Our sordid history with the medical profession in this country needs reconciliation. I want a literal and proverbial seat at the table because changing the demographic of advance practice health providers is necessary to improve patient care for women of color.
When I see nurses with tears in their eyes begging for medical supplies from tone-deaf politicians, it makes me angry. Nurses put their lives on the line to save people by entering risky environments, providing comfort and care. Personally, I’m scared by the prospect of being back in the hospital, but I know I will go. My desire to gain hands on skills and be of service while making a difference in the lives of those suffering outweighs my fear. All I want in return is proper protective equipment and the opportunity for loan forgiveness. It doesn’t seem like too much to ask.
